The F Word

 The big F Word....

FORGIVENESS!

 

 

"Bitterness is like swallowing a bottle of poison-and waiting for the other person to die"
~Jon Courson
 

We ALL have been hurt by other people in our lives & we ALL  have hurt other people. The way we DEAL with that hurt will impact the HEALTH of our life (and the lives around us): It affects our mind, thoughts, heart, actions, relationships, etc.

 

When we do wrong to someone else by our actions or words, we  usually desire to be forgiven. To be shown grace & hear those precious words "I forgive you." What a beautiful relief to hear those words!! Lifts a burden off of us & off them.When we are wronged by someone else, we are challenged with the command by God to forgive them.  

 

Let's look at what God says about the F word:

Ephesians 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger..."

 

Matthew 6:15 "But if you do not forgive men  their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

 

Ephesians 4:32-5:1 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children."

 

Romans 12:19 "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written 'it is mine to avenge. I will repay,' says the LORD."

 

Psalm 86:5 "For You LORD are good, and ready to forgive."

 

Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him."

 

Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

 

Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 "Love is patient, love is kind...it keeps no record of wrongs."

 

These are just a few of many verses addressing the HEART ISSUE of forgiveness. If we waited till we FELT like forgiving someone, we would probably never forgive them!

 

I am writing this blog because FORGIVENESS is difficult for me at times when someone has deeply hurt me. Forgiving my own self is hard at times also. I am so critical &  hard on myself (a perfectionist mentality), i often am able to show grace to others before i am able to extend grace to myself. God's working on me with that  :)

 

I am writing this blog to confess,  that i was just made aware today (while i was doing discipleship with a teen girl @ Juvenile Hall, discussing forgiveness) how i have been bitter towards a certain person who had severely hurt me not that long ago. I invested over 3yrs in this person &  was betrayed, lied to, taken advantage of, used, manipulated, and despite me  being faithful, loyal & loving....they were unfaithful & not loyal at all. I thought i had forgiven this person for the heart ache & pain they had caused me, but i just realized today that if i am still holding that record of wrongs against them, i have still not fully forgiven them. They broke my trust towards others & i still struggle with trust due to being deceived.  Oh how i wish they would call me up & say "i am so sorry for all of the hurt i caused you, will you forgive me?" but i know the chance of that happening is VERY rare. So as i write this blog, i am confessing that i struggle with this. I NEED Christ's strength to fully forgive this man. 

 

I am so thankful that when God forgives us of our sins, He doesn't keep a record of them!! Aren't you???  When we place our faith in Jesus Christ & trust in Him, we are redeemed by His bloodshed sacrifice on the Cross. He looks at us as if we are white as snow, as if we never sinned. Completely justified!  I wish i could always see myself the way He sees me.Spotless. Blameless:

 

Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, and let us reason together," Says the Lord, "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool."

 

We remember the things we've done & said & the painful things others have done & said to us & wish that we could erase them & forget.

 

If i ever ran into this person who betrayed me, i would hope & pray that i could look them in the eyes & say "i forgive you." 

 

I want to add that...forgiveness DOES NOT mean excusing that person for what they did. It means RELEASING that person & the PAIN, HURT, ANGER & BITTERNESS.

 

The Greek meaning of "forgive" means to: "let go, to give up and to keep no longer".

In Hebrew, the word "grudge" means the opposite: "to keep, to hold onto"

 

I remember when i was 24yrs old & had just ended a physically/emotionally/verbally abusive relationship with my fiance. I struggled for a few years with forgiving the traumatic pain & hurt he had caused through out the year & a half we were dating. I know it should not have taken me that long to forgive him. Part of that was my pride & another part of that was not understanding what TRUE forgiveness was. I thought i had to come to the point of "maturity" where i FELT like forgiving him. Well,  guess what?!! I never felt like it & years went by & i realized how my bitterness, anger, hurt & fear had affected my own life & other peoples' lives around me. I carried that hurt & resentment with me like a poison inside me.Thanks to God's strength i can say today that i forgive him & i now am able to share that past story with many people who have been or are going through similiar situations of being a victim of abuse. I am NOT a victim of him or that relationship anymore, because God has HEALED my heart  & because He has given me the strength to forgive & let it go.

 

Is there someone (maybe yourself) who you need to forgive? Are you bitter towards someone?

 

I challenge you to ask yourself & ask God  to search your heart. I thought i was "over it" & had forgiven the last man who hurt me & cheated on me, but then his name was mentioned & i reacted with bitterness. I had swept my unforgiveness under the carpet hoping it wouldn't surface again, but it did. So now i am giving it to God, even though i don't FEEL like forgiving him at all. I release the pain & heartache to the LORD.

 

I have been forgiven by others & shown grace. Most of all, i have been forgiven for my huge DEBT OF  SIN by my Father in Heaven. Who am i to say who shouldn't be forgiven? I am not worthy of being forgiven, so i need to freely forgive back.

 

I share with the incarcerated teens daily about love & forgiveness, yet today i did some deep heart surgery & found out that i had a root of unforgiveness in me. I am confronting that tonight & will be writing a letter to that person. But i will not mail this letter. It will be between me & God. After writing it i will rip it up & be done with it, letting it go FOREVER!

 

Is there someone you need to write a letter to or about? This may be a tangible way to release your emotions to God & allow His love to heal your heart so you can be 100% at peace  & healthy again.

 

LET'S SHOW MORE GRACE, COMPASSION & MERCY. LESS HATE, BITTERNESS & ANGER.

 

Thanks for reading & for your love & support. Love, Michelle

 

Leviticus 19:18 "Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor  as yourself. I am the LORD."